by The Evictors

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These tracks were all recorded in my apartment with GarageBand and no fancy equipment, so everything's pretty rough around the edges.

My buddy Adam and I are attempting to get the full band off the ground and flesh these songs out into something proper, but for now, please enjoy these songs in their rough form.

Recorded January 2013-July 2013


released July 23, 2013

All songs written and performed by Greg Andersson
Recorded and Mixed by Greg Andersson
Photos and layout by Greg Andersson



all rights reserved


The Evictors New York, New York

Oh good, another midwestern-influenced, mid-tempo pop-punk band.

Greg - vocals/guitar
Adam - bass

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Track Name: You're Evicted!
Get outta that house
Just walk out the door
You can't pay your bills
So you can't stay here no more

I know that times are tough
And so are mine
Maybe you can find a place to stay
Near the unemployment line

It ain't my problem
Where you're gonna stay
Just grab your shit
And please would you go away?

I know your patience
Is wearing thin
But I'll have the cops down here so fast
That your head will fucking spin

Don't try to fight it
You've done enough
Should have thought of how you'd pay your rent
Before you bought so much fucking stuff

You're evicted!
You're evicted!
There's nothing you can do
You're evicted!
You're evicted!
Can't you get a clue?
Track Name: Lagunitas At Milano's
Dickin' around, let's grab a drink
And then another, and a third I think
Grab a burger up at Paul's
And get our fortune from Zoltar

Walkin' Second Ave at night
Soakin' in all this city nightlife
I'm so glad that you called me
We gotta do this again next week

Meet me at that old dive bar
On Houston, the walk shouldn't be too far
Gettin' drunk before sunset
Another round? Oh sure, you bet

There's nothing great about this song
Just a way for this memory to live on
Often good times with your friends
Are the nights most worth remembering
Track Name: The Town That Dreaded Sundown
If you park you car on Lover's Lane
You might not live to ever see another day
There's a man out lurking in the pale moonlight
Keeping all of Texarkana paralyzed with fright

He wears a pale white sack over his head
It's the last thing that you'll see before you end up dead
So keep your kids inside and your doors locked tight
Because the Phantom might be out stalking prey tonight

The Phantom's deadly, it's true
Watch out, he's coming for you

In the town
The town
The town that dreaded sundown

Peggy met her end by her own trombone
While Floyd was shot in the head right inside his home
Authorities swore that they would make him pay
They chased him through the quarry but he got away

He was never ever caught and some townsfolk say
He still walks the streets of Texarkana to this day
So you better think twice before you go make time
Or your gonna end up paying for it with your life

The Phantom's deadly, it's true
Watch out, he's coming for you

In the town
The town
The town that dreaded sundown
Track Name: Rain Check
I can't afford a house, but I'll live
Can't fix my car, but I'll live

No vacation with our friends
Cause we blew what little we have on our rent

I'll skip dinner, but I'll survive
I don't have much, but I'm alive

I'll take a rain check on that beer
Maybe we can hit up the movies
When the sequel comes out next year

But I don't need nothing
I don't need nothing
I don't need nothing
As long as I have you

I'll look for a job that pays
And next month I'll start to save

We'll find a way out of this mess
Even if it kills me, I promise my best

There's better days ahead
We'll have nice things before we're dead

I won't be such a lazy slob
And maybe in a couple of months
You can quit your second job

But I don't need nothing
I don't need nothing
I don't need nothing
As long as I have you
Track Name: Desperation
Were you feeling all alone again?
Is that why you went crawling back to him?
Did you think he wouldn't see the desperation in your eyes?

You knew you were such a lonely fool
But there was not a thing that you could do
You never wanted it to play out like it did on that cold, moonlit night

You saw them through the window
Making love like you used to

Something exploded inside
You threw the match, they burned, you laughed

You asked the mirror, "What did you do?"
A different person staring back at you
A smiling woman who was happy with what she'd done, you didn't recognize

They started banging down your door
Screamed at you to get down on the floor
They had never seen a woman before with such evil in her eyes

You tried to to cry, scream and shout
But you couldn't get a word out

You begged for mercy inside
But your cackles echoed through the night

They echoed through the night
Track Name: What Do I Look Like? A Bank?
Well excuse me sir I don't mean to be rude
But I'm having just a little bit of trouble buying food
Cause my rent went up and my cat got sick
And a monthly for the subway costs an arm and a leg

And I know that things have started to slow down
And I'm hoping that the business will begin to turn around
But I've been here five years and let's be fair
An extra twenty bucks a month won't get me anywhere

So let me ask you
What am I to do when I turn 32
And I can't afford
To even be alive anymore?

Let's face the facts, things are looking pretty grim
And I'm starting to see that there's no point in arguing
Cause your mind's made up and you're not gonna cave
So I guess it's back to work and dealing with this shitty pay

So I'll skip the doc cause my copay's fifty bucks
It's a choice between my health or the electric bill this month
When my folks told me I should follow my dreams
I didn't know that they would come with such a meager salary

So let me ask you
What am I to do when I turn 32
And I can't afford
To even be a live anymore?
Track Name: Victory Boulevard
Everyone you loved
Has packed up and moved on
Leaving you all by yourself

You turned your back to them
Ignored all apologies
Over words that weren't meant

How quickly things
Start to spiral downward
Spending all your time indoors

Self pity kicks in
Living like a recluse
It was all their fault not yours

When the silence got so loud
That your head began to pound
And you swore the solitude was for the best

In a fragile state of health
You kept on lying to yourself
To try to prove a point that makes no sense

Sometimes life can seem so fucking hard
As you live alone on Victory Boulevard

When the water got so high
That you were sure you were gonna die
And the tears were streaming down into your teeth

You wished you had a friend
Someone to hold you through the end
As the flood waters rushed down the street

Sometimes life can push you way too far
As you cry alone on Victory Boulevard

Call them up, call them up
Your sons and daughters waiting
They will take you in their arms

Find the time and to make it right
Every wound can heal in time
Haven't things gone on too far?
Track Name: Complaints and Grievances
My lungs can't take it anymore
And the pain in my knees when my feet hit the floor
Is getting so bad that I feel like crying
And I know I'm fucking lazy but it ain't worth dying

And it feels like my heart is pounding out my chest
These choices I make clearly aren't for the best
And I can't rely on pills to keep the pain at bay
They're gonna be the death of me if I don't throw them all away

I need a change
I can't do this anymore
My life depends on it
But if feels like such a chore

How did it get this way?
And will I ever feel alright?
Will I stop being so careless
With something so fragile as my life?

I'm becoming the black sheep of my family
I never keep in touch and now they are all mad at me
If I could just find the time to call my mom back
But I'm so forgetful and now two weeks have passed
Track Name: My Anchor
I had given up on everything
I was feeling broken and all alone
And then you found your way into my life
And gave my heart a place to call its home

And there were obstacles ahead of us
Times we'd both have to swallow our pride
But on this journey there's nobody else
That I would rather have right by my side

Amanda, my anchor
Tattooed into my skin
You saw this old, stray dog of a man
And decided to take him in

My life's a comedy of errors
But no one's laughing, especially not me
The boneheaded decisions I make
Have left me wallowing in misery

Always leaping without looking
I tend to crank it up from bad to worse
And somehow you always stand right by me
It's more than any mortal man deserves

Amanda, my anchor
Tattooed into my skin
You keep me grounded when I need it the most
And make me better than what I've been
Track Name: Please Quit Your Day Job
My heroes work in cubicles
In bars and hospitals
They punch the clock from nine to five
Got wives and kids and average lives

They use up their vacation time
To tour and barely make a dime
So chumps like me can have some fun
And kill a night singing along

My heroes aren't big rock stars
They play in clubs and bars
And hope that someone buys a shirt
A CD, sticker or record

They head back home, go back to work
Not like some fucking jerks
Who don't even write their own songs
And live in mansions, something's wrong

How is Kesha played on the fucking radio
And I've only met a dozen people who've ever heard of The Methadones?
True musicians go unheard their whole careers
And some dumb kid found on YouTube gets a multimillion record deal

The bands I like should strike it big
And get some bigger gigs
So they don't have to worry bout bottom lines
And they can play music full time

While they're back in their cubicles
Middle America's seeing Bret Michaels
There's something wrong with people's taste
Pop music's sucked since '88

How does Bieber sell out arenas every night
And I've never met a single person who's ever heard of The Copyrights?
Even if you only kind of like Green Day
I know about a million bands that will totally blow you away

Please quit your day job
And do this full time